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Hypno-Amusements

Cross Words - General Knowledge - Jokes - and More

Have you heard the one about the dyslexic hypnotist who messed up his sessions?

He kept putting his clients into a trench.

 

(...?...sorry - that was Steve's first attempt)

******************

How about the unsteady seamstress who visited a hypnotherapist? 

He gave her a fit.

 

(okay - I'm not very good at this either - but I promise you we'll get better)

******************

 

Two nutty psychotherapists got into a fight.

One of them was assaulted.

******************

 

How about this then - why did the hypnotherapist keep taking his clients down a coal mine?

He just wanted to take them deeper and deeper.

******************

 

I once knew a hypnotherapist who used Time Lines for Past Life Regression -

Until his client fell off the edge of the world.

******************

 

Did you hear the story about the stage hypnotist that was using his gold antique time piece as a pendulum to hypnotize an entire audience. Just when the entire audience had gone under into a very deep state the chain broke, the timepiece fell to the stage breaking into little and the hypnotist yelled, "crap".

 

It took two days to clean up the auditorium.

 

******************

A woman phoned a Hypnotherapist a few days after her depressed husband had seen him.

"Excuse me phoning, but I am very worried about my husband. He can't remember anything about his session with you. What did you do to him?"

"I am sure there is nothing to worry about," replied the hypnotherapist suavely, "It is quite normal to have amnesia for the hypnotic experience. Your husband was suffering from a mild endogneous depression and so I simply repeated to him in a trance that he would be `Better and Better Every Day, Better and Better in Every Way.' It is an excellent technique. I can't see that anything can go wrong. What exactly are you worried about?"

"I see. Did you know he was a little deaf?"

"Yes, but that has nothing to do with his depression."

"But I think it may have a lot to do with the new problem. Since you saw him he has lost a fortune BETTING: every day and in every way!"
 

Are you amused yet?  Norman Cousins proved that laughter is the best therapy.  So if you want to live longer - or simply die laughing - why not subscribe to Hypnotic World and read all our latest additions.  If you'd like to see your hypnotic joke published here - please email faith@hypnoticworld.com.

 


To discover how to subscribe to more hypno-amusements, hypno-teasers, crosswords, 800 scripts, online recordings and much more, please click here.

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